Gesundheit !

I get a lot of emails and messages advertising courses. I decided to start a course … a course on sneezing, as I do not possess any technical or managerial skill degrees or diplomas. I merely did post graduations in dilettante subjects. I decided to call my course Gesundheit because that is what everyone says after sneezing.
And then I googled the word gesundheit and discovered that there was an institute started in 1971 by a real ‘Patch Adams'( not the movie star Robin Williams) for revolutionizing the health care scenario!
Well, with due apologies to Gesundheit Institute, I decide to create a curriculum for my course with the same nomenclature.I know a curriculum is very necessary if you want people to enroll because interested parties always ask for course content.
Gesundheit is a German word that means good health. Sneezing generates good health for the sneezer,according to some . Therefore, a course that teaches you to sneeze properly would be as important as one that enables you to laugh for good health or another that helps generate a six digit monthly income( an advertisement that recurs repeatedly in my messages!) to pay for courses like mine.
What my course would focus on would be how to sneeze and how to use the energy generated by a sneeze in an eco friendly world.Evidently, researchers say a sneeze travels at 100 miles an hour…
To start with, we will focus on the methods of sneezing naturally.
Of course one can sneeze taking snuff or a whiff of pepper or chilly powder or pollutants, but that is induced by chemicals. I talked of natural means.
The first thing would be to tickle one’s nostril with a feather. That would cause a disturbance in the nasal cavity and induce a sneeze..
The second method would be to pluck ones brows. Evidently, a nerve connecting to the nasal passage can get stimulated if you pluck your brows. Of course, you would have to use a tweezers.And you would have to develop the skill to pluck just so that you can sneeze. That would require lots of training and might result in eyebrow less individuals but one could always draw eyebrows with permanent hair dyes or make up or wear false eyebrows. And while waiting for the eyebrows to grow back, one could try to master the third method, exercising!
One has to again learn the skill to generate sneezes while exercising. Researchers say you need to hyperventilate after exercising to sneeze. Hyperventilation leads to water in the nostril and that leads to sneezing. Lesser individuals could vomit due to hyperventilation, but such individuals with squeamish stomachs are not encouraged to enroll in the course.
One would be trying out all the three methods of sneezing in bright sunlight as research has it that sunlight can make you sneeze.
Our mascot for the course would be an iguana as iguanas are the best sneezers in the world. One could even study iguanas and imbibe their skills to become expert sneezers.
After that, at the end of the course, the students along with the teaching staff will brainstorm to see how the energy from a sneeze( since a sneeze travels at 100 miles per hour) can be harnessed to contribute to help resolve the worldwide energy crisis.